Ok,how long is this 'blogger post page is so white' thing gonna' end? Geez......
Mmm,second day of UT3.
Today's test was a pretty tough one,but still barely manageable.But silly thing i didn't bring my liquid paper =(
But that's also good,i won't disturb my classmates.It isn't very nice to disturb my classmates just for the sake of me focus better.I must learn and get used to not using my liquid paper.....

Ok,sis's fever still fluctuates.High and higher.Keep remaining at high temperatures of around 38 degrees ++.
A lil' scary.And she's like the whole day so blur blur.Staying on bed for almost the whole day.
Isn't something that sounds good =/
And to make matters worse,today and tomorrow is her PSLE oral exam.And it's a must for her to attend.But i mean,how to?How can she peform well for the exam when she's so sick?Correct correct?
In anyways,she'll have to take the exam tomorrow.Even if she is sick.That's unfair.That's really unfair.I don't like saying 'unfair' but this is really it.Shit...

And all this,i feel that i'm really hopelessly useless.Seriously useless.
I can't do anything well.I can't express my emotion well.I can't do alot of things which others at my age can.I can't make the people around me happy when they are sad.I can't tell proper jokes at proper occasion,and make people sad because of my thoughtless stupid 'jokes',when i don't mean malice.SO all these,i'm really useless,yea?
I can feel sis feeling sick,suffering from the cold cold feeling from her fever,and i can't do it anything to help it.
I can feel mom's feeling somehow anguish deep inside for the fact that she is going for chemotherapy next week,yet i can't do anything.
I am not a good son,not a good brother,not a good friend,not a good owner,and perhaps in the future,might not be a good boyfriend or husband.I will do my best for it.But i scared,i will not make the mark.I can't do anything well.Seriously,how can i?I can't make promises,i don't want to make empty promises only to make the other party of my promise upset.
I don't want to end up like a fucking jerk like my fuck-ass dad,yet i feel that more and more things that happens around make me feel more and more lke him.The more i don't want it,the more i'm nearing it,i'm afraid.
I make people around me feel so disappointed.I've become the person i might actually hate the most.
I try not to make people upset,or break hearts and in the end,i still end up doing so.I say i don't want to make others feel the same pain as myself,always waiting for the person,only to find that the whole thing is just an unrequitted love.And yet,i cause someone feel so,and might probably even worse,worser than the person who had inflicted that pain on me.
I try to make people happy,even at the expense of my own happiness,thinking that,as long as they are happy,i would be happy.
But reality is bitch.Things don't go that way.They still don't feel happy.

I'm really an idiot huh?Accepting someone who i know barely even less than a month then,perhaps out of pity,hoping that love may blossom as time goes by.
But then,how can that happen?There's no communication at all,no nothing.
I don't know.Perhaps i didn't do my part on that relationship.Maybe i didn't do a good job.Tryin' hard to make her smile,wanting to see her again,those feelings,weren't enough.That was never good enough,right?
Things goes to a point when i feel that i've been neglected or even taken for granted,and at that point,still no connection.
And finally,she breaks.Ok,it's fair,she started,she ends it.I'm really fine with that.
Then i wonder,why does she even want to ask me to be then?Until now,i don't have that answer.But it's alright.It's just that i don't understand,that's all.
But then,now i bet you'll think that i am still thinking bout' her,right?Answer is,no.Not at all.
Why?I don't know.Perhaps the way she treats me,remind me of the one,the very girl who made me feel cold about relationship.There you have it.
And i think,why the hell did i even accept her?Is it because she was cryin' over the phone?That it had made me feel bad?
And i wonder,had i expected things turned out this way?That all the things will create so many things,so many upsets,and last but not least,so many regrets??
Hahaha~ And all this happened one month ago.I don't even know why i blog about it now.Haha~
Guess lettin' it out here,can help.Can it?
Ah,and so,moral of the story,if you want to accept someone,know him or her real real real well first.I speak from experience,learnt it the hard way.AND,also also,don't accept out of pity,things won't work that way,seriously =)

But honestly,i'm worried bout' Mom and sis very much.Actually,UT3 don't come close as my worries,honestly speaking.
But yes,they are more important.My family is more important to me.
Hope things goes well~~

Aha~ I'll stop my silly o' rants now~ Study time~
Nite nite,people~