I think the CNY post can come later or something.

It's Chinese New Year, i know.
But i guess i'm just a fucked-up worry wart, always worrying about things that i shouldn't be worrying about.
So, i guess posts about CNY and all those can wait.
Not in the mood to share it happily, though i was definitely happy about it.

So what's up this time, you must be asking, right?
It's just some thing that bothers me, never fail to bug me.
You know, nothing bothers me as much as this subject.
Ok, from now on, until the end of this post, you might not understand a single thing that i'm gonna say.
It's normal. It was not meant to be understood. I just want to release the feelings. I just want to feel better.
So if you get it, so be it. If you don't, too bad. And if you don't like it, feel free to click the red button over the top right corner.

I know that it is natural. The things that's going on now (Or what i thought might be going on), is natural.
Damn natural.
But i couldn't bring myself to let go, much less let loose.
Just as i thought i was ready to let loose, an idiot just have to say something.
And it just upsets me.
And only to make me realise, i'm not ready afterall.

I know, i'm being over-zealous.
I know, i'm just being too overboard with my 'duty'.
But hey, what if she gets hurt?

And now, with that in mind, i think i going back to what i think she didn't like me to be.
Fuck it, i can't help it too.
And the more i think about it, the more i have to agree.
That, the problem is me, and nobody else.

It's selfish for me to put my personal feelings inside.
Yes, i admit i am jealous.
Yes, i admit i am jealous.
And yes, i admit i am jealous.

You know, the valet lady in my workplace, did highlighted my weakness/fear.
Spot on, hitting the nail on the head.
But that's just the surface.
There's something deeper. But i don't wanna let anyone know.

It's becoming a problem, and it's gonna get worse if it's not gonna be curb soon.
It's excruciating, and i don't know what to do.
I'm stuck in a limbo.

I don't know what to do now. I really don't know what to do.
I think i'm thinking too much.

That's my weakness.
I tend to think too much about the things/subject/person i concern.
To the point i start to feel negative.
A fucked-up bad point about me.

What should i do now?