Food for thoughts.

Ahhh.... After the long and eventful 2 years, one chapter of my life comes to an end while another will open.

I guess i have grown tremendously. I don't think I am the same Daryl as i am 2 years ago. I felt a personality change in me somewhere, yet i still can't list out what it could be.

But i have learnt quite a lot. Traded alot of things away for an experience that i don't think i would get if i lived any other ways.

The best of all things i have learnt, would perhaps be the fact that i am not god, neither superman, nor some invincible guy. I realised i have my weakness and vulnerability. There is just this much i could achieve and whatnot.

While yesterday marks the day i ended my service as a NSF, it also marks the day i am unemployed and throw into the harsh 'outside' world.

To be honest, as much as i told everyone i have a plan for the future, i am clueless as to how should i achieve it. Honestly.

I always thought that i have time to plan it. Before i entered the service, i told myself "I can use the 2 years to plan out my future".
As i graduated as a Private, i told myself 'Alright, let's plan using my remaining time as a NSF".
Yet again, after i graduated as a Specialist, i told myself the same thing.
I procrastinated yet again and again, telling myself i have time on my hands as the wealth of a youth is time.

All these follows on with a busy schedule in camp, with little time for breather. You could also say, being busy was my excuse for not planning my future ahead.

It was only until a few mornings ago, i woke up, while dreading the fact that I have to stay in camp during the last few days of my service to prepare the necessities of a range for strangers I would perhaps not meet again anywhere.

I groan and i moan, as i lazily reached for my phone and snoozed my alarm, scrolling the feeds of Facebook as i lie in.

I saw a peculiar news about members of a K-pop girl group that i always listen to are in hospital for surgery treatment. Curious as i was, i read the news. As i read, i realised that they had met with an accident. It was a bad one.

It was only until i saw the headlines of another post that i realised it was far from bad, it was worse. The member who i favor the most in the group passed away on the site of accident.

It is really sad. Of course it is due to the fact that it was the passing of an idol of mine, a cute one at that. But what struck me the most was the fact that she's 22, the same age as myself.

While i am here lying down on my bed moaning about doing mundane duties, someone of the same age who was supposedly living her long-time dream of being an idol can no longer follow her dream just like that. Her time just stop at that point.

It was then when i realised the fragility of life. How whimsical can God be that he could just take your life away at your shiniest point of your life. For all you know, there is no tomorrow.

I guess the least i could do, is to live my life, live my dreams while i still can. There are people who wish to live their dreams but no longer can, and there are people who can chase their dream but chose to idle around.

I should be chasing dream, living my dearest wish. And i should work hard for it.