Lesson learnt...

I guess for the past three years or so...

Or perhaps 2 yeas ago, i have been just someone who doesn't care about what is going around me.

I couldn't be bothered.

Call me aloof.

But i just can't seem to care.

Guess you could say, i didn't place any emphasis on fame, achievement etc.

You could say, i was 'sleeping', didn't care about anything so much.

But i guess, i just have to care about it.

I have to wake up.

Within this time-frame of 3 years or more, i have actually achieved much more than what other had achieved, or even wished to achieve.

But i said nothing of it, spoke nothing of it, and felt nothing of it.

I wasn't even the least proud of it.

I didn't spoke much of those things that i have achieved.

So much so that no one ever believed that i could have done so much things.

And that i am the mere personification of 'Never judge a book by its cover'.

Perhaps as you can see by now, i am starting to be more proud of myself and my abilities.

If i want to be appreciated by someone else, i have to appreciate myself first.

After all, "If you can't love yourself, how can you expect someone to love you?"

Maybe being in a competitive environment wasn't a bad thing after all.

It actually wakes me up, and see what i really want.

It makes me realise that by making others happy, you might not necessarily be happy.

And most of the time, it is impossible to make everyone happy.

Thus, moral here is that i've gotta know who are worth for me to go that extra mile for.

10 weeks have past, and i have to be 'awakened' now.

I can't stay in that slumber and being 'drunk' all the time.

I've gotta show those empty vessels that, substance isn't shown by speaking alot of empty words.

Substance is that kind of things you show by your performance.

And while i was in my 'slumber', there was alot of opportunities.

But i just gave them a pass.

Now that i want that, i just missed it.

Lesson learnt. "Grab whatever that is within your reach, no matter how meager."

Gee, then again, it might just be a good thing that for now, i don't have a girlfriend, or a significant other.

I don't want her to see me in such a state, such an ugly state.

Tainted by angst, hatred and unjust.

Aww well, just let's things be then...