Totally late, totally bored.

I'm really bored now.

The net's laggy, so gaming's out of the equation.

Pretty groggy, so doing the report won't be something i'd do today (Though it's due really soon)

I don't want to feel bored.

Once i do, i tend to think too much.... And you know the rest.

To be honest, i'm already starting to think about something already.

Linda did told me once.

I didn't move on.

Which i think it's really true.

It seems like, i don't bear to move on, thinking everyone would stay the same.

Well, everybody eventually does, and i'm the only one who doesn't.

Ends up? I'm the only one who stays stagnant.

Angie says that i didn't change. Still the same Daryl she knew back then, when we were primary school kids.

I guess i was just too contented about how life used to be, you see.

I love it when Mom's still prepared great dishes and a pot full of soup for dinner during weekend.

I love it when Sis and me were talking about subcultures (Especially punk lolita, since she's good with that)

I love it when we head to nearby malls like Jurong Point on Saturdays for dinner, and relaxation.

But things have changed.

I'm always busy on weekends, due to work.

Mom and Sis will always be away on weekend, at Uncle's place.

Sis is now obsessed with cosplay, not what she used to like and be anymore.

But i guess, i will eventually get used to it.

It's just that i'm not used to it as of now.

And i'm at the midst of getting used to everything now.

I know i have been harping on Sis changing so much since she went into the world of cosplay.

But it's true.

She changed so much, she isn't the girl she used to be.

Just changed so so much.

I prefer the old her. 

The cute little petite girl who packs that spunky-ness.

She thinks differently from peers her age, which makes her so cool.

That 'punk princess' which i could really relate to.

That crazy cat lover who i could go 'cat-hunting' with, and playing with them for hours.

That cool but lonely girl.

Sometimes, i really wonder.

If i had not went or brought her to the photoshoot at Fort Canning, would things be different from now?

I know, i would know one good friend lesser (and that would be Luna).

But at the same time, would Sis still be in cosplay like now?

Sometimes, i really think, if Joy and Miao didn't say she looks like Miku, will she still dabble with cosplay and be the her now?

If they didn't say that, would she have already become the little punk princess which she initially wanted to be? (and that i like)

Sometimes, now that i think back, i somehow do feel a slight resent towards them for saying that.

And thinking about the reasons that Sis joined cosplay...

I don't know. I didn't like that.

She wants to find friends from there.

But from what i can see, majority are childish conformist.

Of course there are some great people here and there (Personally, even i became friends with them)

But others are just.... Off.

And among that, there's a whole bunch of unpleasant people.

Keyboard warriors, 'hyena and jackals' ('We're strong, 'cause we're in groups'), conformists (as mentioned above), and even perverts.

There's more to name actually. But they're just at the back of my head.

I know i'm being overprotective, and being abit over-zealous.

But fuck it, if you were me, wouldn't you feel the same?

How the hell can you not be worried?

Well, all these are my thoughts of that matter since the last 2 years.

Maybe writing it here, might make me feel better a little.

And it kinda irks me.

How did someone that cool has fallen down to the level of those people.

That's what she has changed into. One of them.

It feels as if, either they have taken my sister who i used to love and respect away, or they 'killed' her (Think 'Punk is dead. Poser killed it'). 

From that whole episode, i come to resent, hate, dislike 'otaku'.

Yes, that also mean i resent my lifestyle and mindset which i used to be.

So if you wonder, why i don't like to be related as otaku and stuff, this is the reason.

And just if you think this is something new, it isn't.

I've been like this ever since she got into cosplay.

And at one point, i thought i gotten used to this, and relaxed on it a little.

Just recent, something triggered something.

And i realised, i still feel the same.

I should realise something since a long time ago.

That aspect of Sis which i really loved and adore, is not gonna return.

We can never return back to the past, which i missed so much.

So, what i have learnt from it?

Treasure what you have now.

I guess i'm out of the forest, for now.

I think i'm thinking clear now.

I think i should really move on.

There's nothing left here now.