Reasons to why i'm not as happy.

I think i was asked sometime ago, this question.
I think hard about it, for an answer for this.
Wasn't too hard to find a list of them.

Let's boil it down to, 'Reasons to why i was so happy in the past'.
Simple, everyone around was happy.
Pretty simple right?
So as the reasons to the main question.

People around me, wasn't as happy as how it used to be.
Or at the very least when i'm around.
I was considered as annoying.
Yes, you heard me right, annoying.
When?
When i want to just share my experience of the day, or just wanting to enjoy the accompaniment.
Well, it wasn't like that, last time.
I don't know what happened.

To be honest, for you people, i can eschew many aspects of my life.
I can throw away many thing for you people.
Time, friends, hobby, freedom, out of my comfort.
But let's say if you were in my shoes, i doubt you'd do the same.

Loneliness?
I've realised, loneliness is nothing but something by choice.
If you'd ever realise, i'd really try my best to be there for you.
But if you'd ever care, i don't know.

They told me it wasn't my fault that you turned out this way.
Yes, i blamed myself, unconsciously.
I blamed myself for not giving you enough love and concern, not being there for you.
Then i tried to give you even more.

I guess it didn't work out at all.
I want to be there, but i think the little things in life just distance us apart.
We just drifted, further and further away.
By the time i realised, you're so far, you seemed like a different person.

But thinking back, i guess i did give you all the love that i can.
I gave you all that i can.
So i guess, i can answer to myself.

So if in the end, you don't appreciate what i did, too bad for me.
It's just too bad for me, it's my loss.

Guess, karma didn't work somehow.
You know 'do things the way you want people to do to you'.
Yea, i'm a good example that it's flawed.

Once again, you broke my heart, made me disappointed.
Again, i asked myself, what did i do wrong this time?
Yet i don't know how should i do to clear the air, when you don't even want to listen to me at all.
Guess i'm sinking back into the limbo.
My chest starts to hurt again.